The Commitment to love-Part 3(The past)

For the last 2 weeks, I have dealt with this thing called the commitment to love and I wrote that the lack of it is what is termed as selfishness. At the end of part 2, I attached an audio file of 1Corinthians 13 in the Amplified translation of the bible.The past has affected many lives, not only in relationships but also the way we live our Christian walk. The past has led to ideas such as generational curses (to see my articles on this, click here, PART 1, PART 2, PART 3). We have also used the past to justify our behavior, personality, failures and even success. We have blamed the past for example our childhood for what we are or have at the present. We have to look at the past in the light of the word of God and also in the light of Love.When I got saved and I went in front to confess, I confessed every sin that I remembered and those I didn’t. Of course, if you are keen on what you are reading you have already thought or said that it is a lie. If you thought so, you are right! The past becomes wiped away when you get saved and it no longer counts before God. Well does it still hold before men?

I differ from the notion that you confess everything that you did before you met the person. This commitment to love is one independent of the past but dependent on the present and the future. I don’t expect my spouse to tell me about the escapades she had(if any) because that is not important unless it is to solve a certain problem that may appear in the relationship. This is not an iron clad rule, but it will not profit me to know how one had sex with—-people because we have taught openness. Telling me that hey I messed up before is enough and the reverse is true. Just as the things of the world help us understand the things of the spirit, I believe the reverse is true.

The central theme of this series has been love and if there is any one thing the you should get is this statement, ‘WHAT WOULD LOVE DO?’. Sometimes when we hear the statement, ‘WHAT WOULD JESUS DO?’, we usually brush it off and say Jesus was God personified in the flesh and therefore we can’t do what we did. Let us not debate that and instead ask, what would love do. As believers, we should let this love be the motivating factor for it is the multiplying factor and if it is zero, all product is zero for any number multiplied by zero is zero.

I believe that every couple should look at the past through the eyes of love. Paul, the apostle, said and we usually quote it from Philippians 3;

Php 3:12 Not³⁷⁵⁶ as though³⁷⁵⁴ I had already²²³⁵ attained,²⁹⁸³ either²²²⁸ were already perfect:^{5048, 2235} but¹¹⁶¹ I follow after,¹³⁷⁷ if that¹⁴⁹⁹ I may apprehend²⁶³⁸ that for¹⁹⁰⁹ which³⁷³⁹ also²⁵³² I am apprehended²⁶³⁸ of⁵²⁵⁹ Christ⁵⁵⁴⁷ Jesus.²⁴²⁴

Php 3:13 Brethren,⁸⁰ I¹⁴⁷³ count³⁰⁴⁹ not³⁷⁵⁶ myself¹⁶⁸³ to have apprehended:²⁶³⁸ but¹¹⁶¹ this one thing¹⁵²⁰ I do, forgetting¹⁹⁵⁰ those things which are behind,^{3694, 3303} and¹¹⁶¹ reaching forth¹⁹⁰¹ unto those things which are before,¹⁷¹⁵

Php 3:14 I press¹³⁷⁷ toward²⁵⁹⁶ the mark⁴⁶⁴⁹ for¹⁹⁰⁹ the³⁵⁸⁸ prize¹⁰¹⁷ of the³⁵⁸⁸ high⁵⁰⁷ calling²⁸²¹ of God²³¹⁶ in¹⁷²² Christ⁵⁵⁴⁷ Jesus.²⁴²⁴

Php 3:15 Let us therefore,³⁷⁶⁷ as many as³⁷⁴⁵ be perfect,⁵⁰⁴⁶ be thus minded:^{5426, 5124} and²⁵³² if in any thing¹⁵³⁶ ye be otherwise minded,^{5426, 2088} God²³¹⁶ shall reveal⁶⁰¹ even²⁵³² this⁵¹²⁴ unto you.⁵²¹³

Php 3:16 Nevertheless,⁴¹³³ whereto^{1519, 3739} we have already attained,⁵³⁴⁸ let us walk⁴⁷⁴⁸ by the³⁵⁸⁸ same⁸⁴⁶ rule,²⁵⁸³ let us mind⁵⁴²⁶ the³⁵⁸⁸ same thing.⁸⁴⁶

If you look at verse 13, you will realize that the words this and I do are italicized which means they were added by the translators so it should read;

I count not myself to have apprehended; but one thing, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,…

Paul understood this properly. As believers, we should learn to put things behind us walk in love. Love keeps no record of wrong. The bible doesn’t differentiate the wrong whether it is done by others or you. When you repent of them, don’t keep a register of them. When you got saved, did you name all the sins you had done in your life? No, you didn’t? If you did, that beats the record.

Couples should share information necessary for the growth of the relationship and not every junk that one ever did in their lives. If God doesn’t tell on us, why should we talk about all our escapades. I think this is mainly on the mentality that if I share much, I am being open and therefore I will be trusted more. Sometimes, the reverse is true. If something in the past may or will or can affect the relationship, I believe that should be shared. For example, if you can’t have children, it id good to share that but not how many sexual partners one had.

The other problem is the thoughts that result due to this so called opening up. When some of us are told about all the problems, we may look at ourselves as putting up with the person. We are helping them and this is where we have to be careful that we don’t allow self-righteousness to come in. Thoughts like, well he messed up but I decided to put up with him can arise, but we can bring them down in Jesus’ name.

I know I am ploughing across the field so to speak because we have been trained to say as much as we can so that we are transparent. No, there is no scripture in the bible that says people have a right to know everything. Sometimes it is none of our business and we don’t need to ask. This leads me to parties in a relationship. Don’t ask unnecessary questions that are seeking to put the other person to shame. I have realized that we sometimes ask questions so as to justify our wrongdoing i.e we are looking to level the ground. Do you mean you will never share with your wife? I will and it is my prerogative to do so but not just sharing anything about the past. Well anything is better than nothing! No I don’t think so. If any man be in Christ, He is a new creature, the old has gone and the new has come.

Let Christ and the church be the model for our relationships and not so and so. Remember I said at the beginning of these series that I am not setting iron clad rules but acting as a signpost and you must make Jesus and the Church relationship and Love your priorities. Don’t keep a mental record of what was done to you otherwise you are bound to act in manners that will affect your relationship. Let love motivate you.
Next week I will, God willing, start on simple practical ways on how to show your commitment to love. I will concentrate on three areas; Thoughts, Words and Actions. I will deal with each individually. www.rhemalight.com